However, I have to say that today didn't go much better... I started off my day with Social Sciences, where we finished watching a truly beautiful Spanish film about a man who is paralyzed from the neck down and is fighting for his "right" to kill himself by means of euthanasia. This film left me with a few tears rolling down my face as I watched the Roman take his poison and die. Afterwards, we discussed the film and our own personal standings on the issue of euthanasia. And that is something that I am very passionate about. The life issues have always had a special place in my heart since I lost my aunt to suicide when I was a young girl. After her death, and then the death of Nick this year, I have been fragile to the issues. And when we talked about it today, for some reason I just could not contain myself. After I expressed my standing on the issue, in very broken French, since I found it difficult to find the words I wanted to use, I couldn't help but break down into silent tears. Talia was sitting next to me and she was the only one who noticed. I rushed the bathroom as soon as the bell rang and cleaned myself up, and I thought I was ok, but then as soon as I had to face people again, the waterworks began again. For some reason I just could not pull myself together for more than a few seconds. And to make matters worse, everyone was asking me if I was ok, but I couldn't even open my mouth to answer because I didn't want to make a scene. Then I had French class, where I had to take part in another oral presentation. I really didn't think it was going to happen, as my eyes were starting to well up again. At the beginning of my French class, Madame Gallo noticed that I was crying (again) and asked if I wanted to talk to her for a minute in the hall. I said yes and got up and followed her outside. I got out there and just let go and sobbed, thoughts of Nick and Aunt Sharon rushing through my head. You know sometimes things don't completely hit you all the way the first time. Or maybe they do, but you're so much more fragile than you think you are. Regardless, my entire composure was cracked, and Madame Gallo saw that. I asked her if I could speak English, and she yes and I poured the whole story out to her. And I have to say, I love Madame Véronique Gallo with all of my heart because she helped me so much. She comforted me and then told me that if I wanted to, I could go home early instead of staying for class. I decided that was best, since there was no way I would be able to get through the class, let alone the presentation, without making a total fool of myself. So I got my things together and went outside to the bus stop. The fresh air was cold today, but the sun was shining and it did me a load of good. I went home and very briefly explained to my host mom why I was home and hour early because I started crying again. She was with Léo and she understood entirely. So I went up to my room and calmed myself down once again.
I spent the rest of the morning finishing my book, "Memoirs of a Geisha". That is a wonderful book and I highly recommend it. I then went downstairs and spent some time with my host parents and Léo, ate a Belgian version of a Hot Pocket, and then went upstairs for a quick cat nap before joining my host dad and Olivier for the real event of the day: cooking a birthday dinner for my host mom! We had decided to make a Lebanese meal since she really likes Lebanese food and I was given the task of making spinach pies, which I gladly accepted. We did the grocery shopping and then I went right to it! It took me four hours to make a half batch, but I did it! And thoroughly enjoyed it too. We had no rolling pin, so I had to improvise and used the olive oil bottle, but it worked and I ended up making a decent amount. We also couldn't find allspice, but I improvised on that too... Hopefully, there will leftovers tomorrow! We haven't eaten the dinner yet, so I'll have to give details tomorrow on the rest of the food.
Usually I make cake. This time I made a real Lebanese dish from my heritage. And it made me very happy to do so.
Obviously I've had a rough couple of days. But I got through it with my family back home and my family here supporting me. Not to mention my amazing friends, both American and Belgian. Special thanks goes out to Miss Kaitlyn Dessoffy, Mademoiselle Romane Robert, Mademoiselle Lucie Gérard, Madame Gallo, my wonderful parents and sister, Miss Sandy Veres, and Miss Kaitlyn Conners, among many many others who have done great things for me over these past couple days. Also thank you to my readers. Just the very fact that you read my blog and support me means a lot to me. I love you all and you rock my world, no matter which part of it I'm in!
Until tomorrow, everyone. Love you!!!!
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