11 Days...

And the Countdown begins... I have 11 days left until the Big Day when I leave this country and go back to the one that I call "home". Before I get all sentimental, let's recap the last few days.

Friday was the day after the ball. Which meant that everyone was EXHAUSTED. But what does this mean? The perfect day to throw a surprise birthday party for Manon! I had to go into Hannut for a dance rehearsal (that didn't seem to exist. I waited around an hour for people that didn't show up) but once I came back, it was a mad house. We were all running around like chickens with our heads cut off trying to get things ready and organizing and reorganizing around Manon who was wanting to come home early because she was tired, like the rest of us. But we got it all worked out with another one of our friends, Vanille, who made up a story about fighting with her boyfriend to get Manon to stay the whole afternoon with her. Around 7pm, people started arriving at the house and by 7 30, Manon was walking through the door and being greeted by a huge SURPRISE from all of us. I have lovely pictures. The best part about it? Because of the course of events and circumstances, she came home with her hair still pinned up from the ball, her pearls still around her neck, and her pajamas on. Nicely done Manon :) She went upstairs to shower and change and then we all spent the evening together, eating barbecue (again) and chit chatting. Eventually, we got back into Belgian customs and the alcohol came out. The big news of the night? There was a party (techno, of course) just a few feet away from our house and a couple of the kids went over there around midnight. Well, they came back early, around 1am, because there was a huge fight involving a cult-ish group of people, knives, the police, and an ambulance. Serious stuff, man. I went up to bed around 1 30am because I needed to get up in the morning to dance.

Which I did. Saturday was just that. I went to dance in the morning and then went to see Ben in the afternoon. We had to go our separate ways in the evening because I had yet another surprise party, this time for Romane before she leaves. She is going to Australia for a couple of months and her friends organized a little get-together for her. We all walked in a group (about 25 of us) to her house, her sister blindfolded her and then brought her outside and we surprised her. She was very happy and we all spent the evening with her. I didn't know many people there, so Perrine and I passed the night peeling the foil off of bottle caps and then stacking them. It's more entertaining than you think. We had a whole group of people doing it by the end of the night.

Sunday I slept in. Til almost 2pm. It was lovely. That afternoon, I had yet another little party to go to, this time with the students of Madame Noel. We all got together around 4pm, ate ice cream, sat around and chilled. My camera wasn't working, oddly. But it works again now, so I'm not asking questions, I'm just going with it. Eventually we ate dinner also, and then I left around 10 30pm because I was just so exhausted. I went home and I slept.

Yesterday was Monday, a pretty average day, but also topped off by a surprise birthday party. This time for our friend Lucie who's birthday was actually in January. It was cute though because when she came in, they put on "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds". We, like all the other parties, spent the night eating and socializing, even dancing like crazy people at one point. Manon and Talia and I left around 11 30pm, again, to sleep. Though I stayed up til about 2am Skyping with my Daddy :)

Yesterday, also, I started to pack. I went through all my clothes and made a nice big pile of stuff that I don't really want anymore. I'm starting to get nervous about getting everything home, even with my nice pile. The fact is that I just have a lot of stuff. I have to continue going through it all and getting rid of things. I'm sure I'll be going home wearing about ten layers of clothing, all heavy and hot and I may die of heat stroke. Hopefully not, but we'll see. I also have to decide where I want to eat the night that I get home, which is proving to be one of the most difficult decisions of my life. What from the States have I missed the most?! It's really hard to choose. But i already told my family that I want a giant American breakfast the next morning. Hopefully the time difference won't mess too much with my head.

I'm not ready to get emotional on this blog yet. I'm already a little ball of emotional wreckage. Can't we wait to publicize it? Sorry, it'll come after I get back from Switzerland. Bye!

And This Is Why Blogger Sucks...

Ok so I was all ready to get back on track with a blog a day, and then Blogger freaks out and doesn't work on Thursday. Then Friday, it freaks out again on me and deletes half of one of my blog entries... This was yesterday. My host brother so very kindly asked me where my blog post went and I went on my blog and realized it was just gone. Not on my page at all. So I go into my drafts and it's there, but half deleted. And then I go on this morning and the whole thing is back like nothing ever happened. So I don't know what's going on but here I am, ready to blog again.

I realize that I posted on Wednesday, but I did not actually post about Wednesday and something actually happened that day! Wednesday we had the "Marche de Solidarité" at school. Which is pretty much a support walk that they do every year for some cause. This year it was for Haiti. The couple weeks beforehand, we collected money and recorded it on a blue sheet of paper that I conveniently lost, and then we did the walk on Wednesday after our first hour class. We walked by class around Hannut for about two and a half hours, talking, singing, just having fun. It was really nice out and the sun was shining, so it ended up being a pretty nice couple of hours, even if I hadn't really been looking forward to it. After we got back to school, we each got an apple and a water bottle and just chilled all together in that weird cement courtyard. Then I was supposed to go to Namur, but things got messed up and I ate lunch at Eduardo's house with his host family and went back home where I took yet another walk. It was nice with the sun. Thank you, Belgium, for not having the typical crappy weather lately!

Thursday was an average day. Nothing of importance. We went to school, ate cookies with Madame Vanesse, left school, and I had dance. Fun fun fun.

Yesterday was Friday the 13th. And it was a horrible day. Typically, I don't believe in all that Friday the 13th crap. But yesterday was just bad. Thursday and Friday I found myself in a nice little bout of homesickness and just plain loneliness. But Friday was definitely worse. I was in a bad mood all day, just sick of everything. Sick of school and french and people and being away from my family and adjusting to a new host family and getting fat and losing my ability to dance... Just all of it was piling up and on top of it all, I've been thinking about Nick sooooo much lately. I don't really know why, but he's on my mind all the time. So yah. All that together, you have a very sad and depressed Emma. Yes, I cried. Yes, I locked myself in a bathroom stall for the last 20 minutes of lunch because I couldn't handle being around people. Yes, I cried to people over Skype. And yes, I managed to calm down and pull myself back together. In the end, Manon and I had a great talk and I felt much better after talking to her. We spent the evening together watching "Mulan" in French. It was great bonding time, not gonna lie.

Today I woke up at 6 30am. I don't know why. I was upset with myself. So yes, I was tired today. I went to dance this morning as usual. We're working on our numbers for the recital in June. Remember those weird fabric tubes that I used for that one performance that I did a few months ago? Yah we're using those again to be clouds in one of the dances... I don't really understand, but I'm getting the impression that the classes are combining to do a sort of play/story line something... Anyways, afterwards I went home and chilled with the fam for a while. That afternoon, I got ice cream from this adorable little place in one of the adorable little villages around Hannut. Apparently there is this guy who makes all these different flavors of ice cream by hand. He is really really friendly. For example, Kriek ice cream. Not a joke. I didn't try that one though. I had speculoos and praliné. They were de-lic-ious. Again, there was sun this afternoon, which was lovely. And there's a nice little garden with trees and benches that looks out over the country side right next to the ivy covered building that houses the ice cream shop. It was perfect, sitting on one of the benches, the breeze blowing through the branches above our heads, looking at a blue sky dotted with fluffy clouds. *sigh*

Anyways, I spent my evening with Philippine, making cookies for her big communion party tomorrow and chatting about tons of different stuff. The cookies came out pretty good, although I still can't figure out why I can't get them to taste exactly like they do when I make them at home... Who knows. But for now, my bigger concern is sleeping. So goodnight world!

Mother's Day In Belgium

Ok so I've already spent a good two hours of my life doing that last Italy blog (check it out!) so I'm not going too in depth with this one. But I've posted on every holiday since I've been here and I don't want to break my streak now.

It is Mother's Day today. Which means I'm thinking about Mommy. And I want her to know that I miss her. Here is my message to my mother on this day:

Mom, I just want you to know how much I appreciate you. You're an amazing woman with amazing capabilities and heart that expands so far that I can feel it even 4,000 miles away in a different country. I know that you love me and I need you to know how much I love you too. You're an inspiration to me and I get through my days every day because I know that you are there and you always will be. We've been through so much together through my life, not to mention this year alone. So thank you for all of it. Below is a link to my present to you. I hope you enjoy it and know that I'm always thinking about you. I love you, Mom. With all my heart.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5uqFoq83bw4

Love always,

Emma*

Easter In Belgium

OK I PROMISE TOMORROW I'LL DO THE ITALY POST. We have off of school so I have no excuse. However, today is Easter. And I'm celebrating it in Belgium, obviously.

Let me just start off by saying that after being here, I so very much more appreciate holidays in the States. Today is one of the two major holidays that we base our year off of in the States and here is seems to be barely regarded as more than just another Sunday. Let me back up a little.

Yesterday, I switched host families. It was pretty emotional for me, actually, as I had become decently attached to the other one. I had packed up my entire life, again, and it came to be about three suitcases, two big duffel bags, five boxes, four other bags, my purse, and my laptop bag. Wow! My new host mom, Marie-Noelle, came to pick me up with two of my host sisters, Manon (you all know her) and Philippine, around 2pm, just after Colette had gotten back from her meetings and we were having champagne to celebrate the time that I was at their house. Then we packed up Marie-Noelle's car but it didn't fit so Ben ended up driving me over to the new house with the rest of my stuff. I said all my goodbyes, and yes I cried a little in the car. But I got to the new house and my goodness is it a castle. Obviously I've been there before and I knew my room would be giant, but I had forgotten just how giant. I spent the rest of the day unpacking, talking with my new host family, and decorating my room with all my pictures and such. I took my time and I was kind of sad but in the end, I could see how excited my new family is to have me and I quickly realized that I'm going to have a great last part of my exchange here.

My new host family consists of my host parents, Marie-Noelle and Pierre, three sister, Philippine (the youngest), Manon (my age), and Géraldine (university) and then there is also a brother, Antoine, but I apparently won't be seeing much of him as he apparently only comes home every so often... Anyways, I got all settled in, ate dinner with them last night and then went to a horse show with Manon and Philippine and my host dad. We have a friend, Kathleen, who rides but instead of just regular horseback riding, she does a sort of Spanish style riding and this was her show. So all the girls who rode had these huge beautiful dresses that pretty much covered the horses' backs entirely and the men were dressed in Spanish-type costumes also. The show was really interesting; I had never seen anything like that before. I enjoyed myself. And anyways, I've always though horseback riding was really cool, I just never got into it myself.

After talking seeing Kathleen afterwards, Manon and I went into town to get a drink at the bar with the kids from school that I hadn't seen since before I went to Paris. It was a great night! I got to see all my friends, heard stories, told stories, and just caught up with life. And then we went back to the house and I spent my first night in my new host house.

Then this morning was Easter. We got up semi-early and got ready to go to church for 10am. But we got there and it turned out that the mass wasn't until 10 30. Needless to say, we missed out on an extra half hour of sleep... But it's no big deal, because the mass was actually nice. It had been the first time since I had been to one since Christmas, and I'm sure you all remember... That one had been potentially the most depressing mass of my life. But this one was good. The choir was energetic, I understood what the priest said, and I was able to really follow along the way I did in the States. Plus, the church was full and bright and the whole feeling was just much happier.

Other than the mass, the day was really not much different than any other... There were chocolate eggs on our plates at breakfast, but the whole idea of Easter candy was not nearly as prominent as in the States. No baskets, no Easter bunny, just a few chocolate eggs. No family get togethers either. Obviously, we all ate lunch and dinner together, but nothing out of the ordinary. This afternoon I sat out in the sun with my host sisters and ended up falling asleep out there. I woke up with a nice shorts tan. There's a lovely line across both my thighs. I watched some tv, napped, Skyped with the fam... Nothing really out of the ordinary from any other day. Tomorrow is our last day of break. I'm going to sleep in. And write my Italy blog. Promise. Until then, bonne nuit !

Switching Host Families... Again

Ok so I fail. I said I would post about Italy last night and I didn't... But I have a good excuse and if you know me well, you know what it was. Regardless, I will post about that later. Because right now, there's something more important to talk about.

In about two hours, I will be all settled in to my new host house. The third and final one in my journey of exchange. And the truth is that it freaks me out. For many reasons. For one, it means that my exchange is coming quickly to a close. I have but two and half months left in this country before I go back home to the States, to my family and friends, to my old relationships and a new beginning at school. Two, I got pretty attached to this family. They were awesome. Honestly, I had fun every day that I was here. I saw new things, met new people, experienced things that I had never had the chance to experience before. I couldn't be happier with my stay here. The only thing that sucks is that I have to leave now. But you know, I'll always have these memories. They have taken a small piece of my heart. It's theirs and they will always be there. The came into my life and left footprints. And those footprints are permanent. I will never forget them. They have become a part of my family. À la famille Letawe, je veux juste que vous sachez que je vous aime. Franchement, je vous aime et vous êtes incroyables. Merci pour tout !!

And with that, I move on to the new and last chapter of my exchange. And I'm jumping in with both feet to make sure that this last leg is a wonderful, if not better, than the last. Tata for now !

Birthday Party!!

Today was the surprise birthday party for Eduardo that his host parents put together. A few weeks ago, before the week of Carnaval, I had received a message on Facebook from his host family telling me that they were going to throw him a surprise party. They invited all the people he hangs out with from AFS and then us three Americans that he goes to school with. And we kept it secret until today!!

I got up this morning (late, since we did the daylight savings switch last night) and had breakfast and got myself ready, and around 2pm Talia came over to get me and her host mom drove us to the train station in Huy, where we met up with Eduardo's host parents and the other guests. Mikayla wasn't able to come, but she was there in spirit. Anyways, we all piled into the host parents' cars and they took us to the room that they had rented out for the party. There were probably 15 of us total, and we were there a half hour before Eduardo arrived. Which gave Talia and me a chance to meet everyone, since we didn't know them. When Eduardo was scheduled to get there, we all stood in the doorway holding masks over our face to give a little bit more to the surprise and when Eduardo came through the door, we all started singing to him in French, then English, then Spanish. He was pretty surprised, even though he kind of had an idea of what was happening. He was really happy to see us all though! Once he got there, we played some games, listened to some music, and of course, ate food. There were a bunch of different kinds of cakes, the biggest one being his birthday cake. It was a really delicious layer cake with layers of cream, pineapple, and a sort of pound cake. Lady fingers went all around the edge and there was whipped cream, more pineapple, and cherries on top. It was heavenly, and I'm sure extremely fattening. There were also different waffles, a sugar tart, an apricot pie, a chocolate cake, and a couple other goodies to much on. We passed the whole afternoon there having fun and joking around with our favorite Mexican!

Happy Birthday Eduardo!! Even though it's not yet actually your birthday... I'll write your big post on Tuesday, when it is.

On another note, I would like to update all of you on where I am emotionally. The exchange students have gone through a lot of roller coaster emotions and ups and downs since we've been here. We had the It's-All-New high, the homesick/culture shock low, the rise again, the holidays hardships, and the slow mount back up to being accustomed and adjusted. Now we're going through the We're Bored stage. This is the part where we aren't sad and we aren't homesick, but we miss our lives back home. We want to be able to get in our cars and go. We miss our friends and our family, but not in a sad way. We just want to see them again. We're unmotivated to go school because, let's face it, we're done with high school. We want to hang out with Belgians, but find it hard because everyone's so focused on studying. The exchange is ending, but at the same time, it's just firing up because the big stuff is going to happen soon. But the weird part about it is that even though there is SO much to look forward to right now, the theater, Easter break, trips, the end of the year dance, none of it seems exciting. To be clear, once again, it's not that we want to go home. We're just tired. We're mentally exhausted. We speak the language, yes, but the barrier is even more frustrating now because we know we are more fluent than we think, and to not understand, as rare as it is now, is incredibly annoying. But at the same time, the thought of going home is depressing. We are finding ourselves wanting both at the same time. We have less than four months left here. It's scary to think how fast this is going, and how little time we have left. And though, yes, I do find myself nostalgic and missing home, and yes, I am a little bored of my life here, it will be over before we know it. Which is freaky.

I don't really know how to wrap that up... I'm just very alfkjdglkahksl;dfjsd right now. Which isn't totally bad, so nobody should worry. This is not a depressing post. Not in the slightest. I'm happy and things are going well. We're just bored and tired. But it will pass. Like I said, we have a lot coming up!!

For now, I'm going to sleep. I lost a whole hour of it last night. Bonne nuit tout le monde !

A New Day

I want to apologize for my post on Valentine's Day. Obviously I was having a bad day. But the truth is that none of us are pathetic. Some of us spend the day of love without a boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife, life companion, etc. But that doesn't mean we're alone. We have our friends, our family, and the people we spend every day with. If nothing else, we should remember God's love on that day, as it really is St. Valentine's Day. So again, I'm sorry to bring everyone down with my three lines of sadness.

However, I have to say that today didn't go much better... I started off my day with Social Sciences, where we finished watching a truly beautiful Spanish film about a man who is paralyzed from the neck down and is fighting for his "right" to kill himself by means of euthanasia. This film left me with a few tears rolling down my face as I watched the Roman take his poison and die. Afterwards, we discussed the film and our own personal standings on the issue of euthanasia. And that is something that I am very passionate about. The life issues have always had a special place in my heart since I lost my aunt to suicide when I was a young girl. After her death, and then the death of Nick this year, I have been fragile to the issues. And when we talked about it today, for some reason I just could not contain myself. After I expressed my standing on the issue, in very broken French, since I found it difficult to find the words I wanted to use, I couldn't help but break down into silent tears. Talia was sitting next to me and she was the only one who noticed. I rushed the bathroom as soon as the bell rang and cleaned myself up, and I thought I was ok, but then as soon as I had to face people again, the waterworks began again. For some reason I just could not pull myself together for more than a few seconds. And to make matters worse, everyone was asking me if I was ok, but I couldn't even open my mouth to answer because I didn't want to make a scene. Then I had French class, where I had to take part in another oral presentation. I really didn't think it was going to happen, as my eyes were starting to well up again. At the beginning of my French class, Madame Gallo noticed that I was crying (again) and asked if I wanted to talk to her for a minute in the hall. I said yes and got up and followed her outside. I got out there and just let go and sobbed, thoughts of Nick and Aunt Sharon rushing through my head. You know sometimes things don't completely hit you all the way the first time. Or maybe they do, but you're so much more fragile than you think you are. Regardless, my entire composure was cracked, and Madame Gallo saw that. I asked her if I could speak English, and she yes and I poured the whole story out to her. And I have to say, I love Madame Véronique Gallo with all of my heart because she helped me so much. She comforted me and then told me that if I wanted to, I could go home early instead of staying for class. I decided that was best, since there was no way I would be able to get through the class, let alone the presentation, without making a total fool of myself. So I got my things together and went outside to the bus stop. The fresh air was cold today, but the sun was shining and it did me a load of good. I went home and very briefly explained to my host mom why I was home and hour early because I started crying again. She was with Léo and she understood entirely. So I went up to my room and calmed myself down once again.

I spent the rest of the morning finishing my book, "Memoirs of a Geisha". That is a wonderful book and I highly recommend it. I then went downstairs and spent some time with my host parents and Léo, ate a Belgian version of a Hot Pocket, and then went upstairs for a quick cat nap before joining my host dad and Olivier for the real event of the day: cooking a birthday dinner for my host mom! We had decided to make a Lebanese meal since she really likes Lebanese food and I was given the task of making spinach pies, which I gladly accepted. We did the grocery shopping and then I went right to it! It took me four hours to make a half batch, but I did it! And thoroughly enjoyed it too. We had no rolling pin, so I had to improvise and used the olive oil bottle, but it worked and I ended up making a decent amount. We also couldn't find allspice, but I improvised on that too... Hopefully, there will leftovers tomorrow! We haven't eaten the dinner yet, so I'll have to give details tomorrow on the rest of the food.

Usually I make cake. This time I made a real Lebanese dish from my heritage. And it made me very happy to do so.

Obviously I've had a rough couple of days. But I got through it with my family back home and my family here supporting me. Not to mention my amazing friends, both American and Belgian. Special thanks goes out to Miss Kaitlyn Dessoffy, Mademoiselle Romane Robert, Mademoiselle Lucie Gérard, Madame Gallo, my wonderful parents and sister, Miss Sandy Veres, and Miss Kaitlyn Conners, among many many others who have done great things for me over these past couple days. Also thank you to my readers. Just the very fact that you read my blog and support me means a lot to me. I love you all and you rock my world, no matter which part of it I'm in!

Until tomorrow, everyone. Love you!!!!

Updates!!

Ok I'm back!!! Hopefully I will be able to use my host brother's wifi semi-regularly now to keep this blog updated! Afterall, it will end up being a really nice souvenir at the end of my trip. A sort of journal if you will. Here are all the exciting things that have happened since I last posted:

I went to the Transardentes festival in Liège! This was last Saturday, January 29th. Basically, it was a big techno rave, similar to I Love Techno, but smaller. Saturday morning, I went to dance as usual, and I walked there actually, because there is no convenient bus to get me to the Academy on a Saturday mid-morning. So I walked. It was a nice brisk walk. I went through my two hours of dance, but then realized that I left my wallet and bus pass at home so I couldn't take the bus back... So I asked one of my fellow dancers if she could give me a ride home. She was so kind, she did even more than that! Alice brought me back to her house and I ate lunch with her and her family before she drove me back to Bertrée. Now, Benjamin's girlfriend had been at the house all weekend last weekend and my host parents went away to France for Jacques's birthday. So I didn't spend much time at the house. Instead, once I got home from dance, I quickly got myself ready and then headed over to my friend Romane's house. We hung out for a bit before her parents drove us to Liège and we got some dinner at McDonald's (très classe) and then met up with a couple of Romane's friends at their house. Then we all went together to the Transardentes. We had lucked out finding me a ticket earlier in the evening, so getting there was no problem. Eventually we met up with some other kids from Hannut and had a great time dancing! I was involved in my first ever mosh pit :) But then something put a damper on the evening. Romane was shaken by a guy in a mask, of which she has a serious phobia, and ended up pretty sick. So we called her dad and we went home around 2 30am. She felt much better once we got home, where the air wasn't smoky and there wasn't constant booming in her ears. Once we got back to her house, I found that my glasses had gotten broken while they were in my bag (I had put in my contacts for the night). So that was a bit of a bummer and kind of a "well what do I do now?" moment. We went to sleep, and the next morning I went back to my house. Later that night, my host parents came home and we all spent the evening together.

The week at school was pretty normal. Nothing much happened. I went to a store to get my glasses fixed, but all the woman could do was glue them and I'm not so sure how long they'll last, but we'll see. We also spoke with the director at school and together decided that this week is going to be our last week with our normal first hour with the Père Boly. We're going to start going to our normal classes next week.

Friday was the Cent Jours. This means that it's been 100 days since we've been at school! (I think) So the rhéto had the option to skip classes on Friday and go to a party in a village close to school. We had to pay five euros to go, and each class had a theme for the students to dress up. For our class, it was space. Nobody told me when I was packing to come to Belgium that I would have to bring a costume like this. So my options were pretty limited. Finally, I decided to just dress all in black and put a design on my face and do my hair to be kind of alien-ish. It worked out I suppose. The Belgians really went all out and everyone looked great! We all met up around 8 30 in the morning and got a bus that took us to the hall. First off, we got to eat chocolate croissants and orange juice. Then for the morning, we took lots of pictures and played games that were organized by a different group of students. Then we ate lunch and had a dance party in the afternoon. That was the real highlight of the day! Talia and I did the Soulja Boy dance right as soon as the song came on, and it was one of the first ones. All the Belgians formed a circle around us as we danced and they thought it was the coolest thing ever!! From that moment on, I was a dancing machine! I went nuts all afternoon, dancing with everyone and had a really fabulous time with all the Belgians.

After the party was over, we all went back to Hannut and hung out for a while at the café. Yes, all dressed up. It was interesting. Then I grabbed the bus home, trying not to be self conscious of the fact that I looked like a total idiot. I then managed to make myself look normal for another party that was going to be that evening in Hannut, but this one was more along the lines of KickAss. I also received a package from my family which contained two cans of Spaghettios and four packets of Ramen noodles. So happy!! Then, Romane and my other friend Lorraine came over and we all left for the party together, and it was actually kind of lame at the beginning. There were way too many people there and we were always getting shoved. We were also stuck in front of one of the doors, so it was freezing. But eventually, around midnight, we managed to make our way up to the front of the room and dance. I ended up staying til about 3am, and that's when my host brother came to pick me up. But he was not alone. He came with one of his friends, and on the way home, we ended up picking up another! We went back to the house and they invited me to chill with them for a while. Though I was skeptical and didn't want to be a tagalong, I figured why not and stayed downstairs with them until about 5 30am. We spent the night playing cards and joking around and talking and listening to music. We quoted "How I Met Your Mother" and "The Big Bang Theory" and had a great time! But it really screwed me over for the next morning when I had to go to dance on 4 hours of sleep... But I slept the rest of the day away so it was no big deal. Sunday, I spent with the host family and some other people that came over for Jacques's birthday. We had a sort of lamb stew with fries and it was absolutely delicious! Of course, I've also been going to the gym regularly and going to dance and eating delicious food and all that.

But I think this is the most important thing that happened since I last blogged: I came to many realizations.

I realized that I really need to be myself here and throw away any crutches or security blankets.

I realized that I have a lot of Belgian friends and the connections will only get stronger if I want them to, and if I make them happen.

I realized that I need to spend more time building my relationships here.

I realized that I am no longer homesick.

I realized that I am completely adjusted.

I realized that my home with always be in Parma, Ohio, and my parents and family will always be just that, and they can never be replaced.

BUT

I also realized that my life does not rest with my home and my family. My life rests with me and travels with me wherever I go. I do not have control over every aspect of it, but I do have control over myself.

Because of all of these realizations, I have made a few changes to turn my exchange in a bit of a different direction. I am putting more effort into my relationships here. I spend more time with my Belgian friends, treating them not as replacements for my friends at home, but instead creating new friendships and truly bonding with them. My host parents and I have a mutual trust that is only growing because I am really letting them see the real me. I am myself again, not just another shy exchange student. I am so happy. I really am finally to the point of feeling like me and like I belong here. I'm outgoing and bubbly and in a good mood and I'm getting to the point where I want to be. All in all, things are wonderful. I am not on vacation anymore, and this is just my life here. I'm bored sometimes, I'm sad sometimes, and I'm stressed sometimes. No, Belgium is not always keeping me occupied and no I don't always have something exciting going on. But here is what matters: I be me. And I am back to that. And I'm happy. La vie est BELLE.

Oh and I got accepted to Point Park University :P

Anyways, I'm happy. Things are looking up and going great. Hopefully I'll be able to keep this blog more updated!!!

Quelle Journée !!

Well today was... interesting, to say the least. Actually, it turned out to be quite a good day. Let's start at the beginning, shall we? After all, it's a very good place to start.

I woke up this morning around 10am, because I could. See, I have this really cool shade in my room over my window that blocks out all light. Every single smidgin of light is gone. So I wake up at 10 and it feels like 6am. Which I don't mind because I could never seem to sleep late at the other house because of the light that came in the window, whether it was sunny or rainy. Anyways, I woke up and went downstairs and ate the remainder of the Special K in the box, which ended up being about half a bowl, so I also had a half of a sandwich with cheese and jelly. That is really insignificant, but in case you wanted to know my breakfast this morning, that was it. I then left for my first ballet class in three weeks, since I obviously didn't go Thursday. Dance went very very well today actually. I think I did particularly well today, and I felt much stronger. I'm sure that has a lot to do with the working out. Of course, the tights and leotard aren't exactly the best morale booster, but hey, I look at it as more motivation to keep going to the gym!

After dance, I waited about a half hour and caught a bus to the train station at Landen where I met up with Talia to go to Liège. We bought our tickets and checked the train times and were on a train ready to go by 2 35pm. The thing about Landen, though, is that it is just over the border in the Flemish part. So everything there is in Dutch. I had heard the conductor say over the loud speaker something about Aachen, which concerned me, but then looked out the window and realized she had said Alken, so I didn't worry. However, it didn't even cross my mind the fact that I had never seen this train station before in my life. But, after about 20 minutes, I looked out the window and realized that I didn't recognize a thing. Now I've been to Liège and back so many times, I could list off the stops in the correct order if I really wanted to. And I had never seen these stops before in my life. Plus, everything was in Dutch. So it was around this point that Talia and I realized that we were on the wrong train headed in the wrong direction. We even texted Aymeric, who so lovingly confirmed that. So we decided to get off the train.

But knowing us, we got off the train at this little dinky ghetto stop. With no station, no building, nobody to ask what we should do next. There were only two tracks, one for each direction. So we made our way over to the other side and looked at the schedule. Thank goodness that some words are the same in Flemish and English. We found that the next train taking us back to where we came from didn't come for another forty-five minutes. So the next thought was to try to walk back to the last station, since it was a pretty big one and was in the same city. So we started walking, and came across a bus stop, thinking maybe we could catch a bus there. But we were out of luck with that, though there was a map. But that wasn't very helpful either. So in the end, we walked back to the little ghetto stop and waited for the train. It wasn't super cold out, but the wind bit a little. Eventually, though, a train came by. We got on that one and made our way back to Landen, though we had to pay for another ticket.

At Landen, we managed to get a different train to Liège, even though by now we had discussed whether or not it was worth it, now that it was two and half hours later than the first time around. But we did manage to get on the correct train the second time, and we finally got to Liège. We half walked/half sprinted to the Mediacité, because by this time we were starving and all we wanted to do was find the sushi place. Talia had been craving sushi for a while, and I had never had it before, so I was excited to try it. Around 5 45 we got there, and we saw that the restaurant that I knew about for sushi was closed between 3 and 6pm. So for those extra 15 minutes we walked around and took a look in a few stores. We were a little disappointed because we had originally wanted to do some shopping today too, but it wasn't a big deal.

By 6pm, we were back at the restaurant, and we sat down to eat. The concept of the place is really cool. I was impressed. What happens is, you sit down at a sort of bar, and then a conveyer belt that loops around the whole restaurant passes in front of you, carrying all kids of different little plates with food on them. There are pot-stickers and wantons and fried things and little mini eggrolls and sushi and all kinds of different things. And you pay one price and you take as much as you want as it passes by you. We started off our meals with a sort of soup, which had tofu in it. I had never had tofu before, but I have to say it was pretty good. Other things of note that I tried this evening: Seaweed salad. A little spicy, but I liked it. A variety of fried and stuffed crunchy wanton type things. Very good. Typical Chinese. Orange chicken. FINALLY. Sushi. First time of my life trying it, and I have to say I'm a fan. I really do enjoy the textures and flavors and I really like the rice! :) They also had fruits and desserts going around, and Talia and I ate until we were completely stuffed. Of course, this was sometimes difficult as we would see something coming down the conveyer from the other end, anxiously awaiting the point where we could snatch it up. Unless of course, someone else had the same ideas and got it before you did, which happened often. But we still managed to taste everything we wanted to and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. And I tried new foods!

After we finished our dinner, we ran back to the train station to catch our train home. Due to some technical difficulties, we ended up on the wrong platform at first, and when we got to the right platform, the train was just barely beginning to pull away. So, we missed our train home. Which totally went with the theme of the day. But again, it was no big deal. We considered going back to Huy instead of Landen, but after talking with Talia's host mom, we ended up just waiting at Guillemans for another hour until the next train to Landen came through. We sat around just talking and such. We met someone who was very eager to speak English with us, which seems to be typical of Belgians. And eventually, we did make it on a train home. We got back to Landen around 9 20pm. Then Talia's host mom came to get us and she dropped me off at my house, which was only maybe ten minutes away, if that. Then I ate lots of chocolate...

Also, tonight is the Winter Formal dance back at my high school in the States, and my sister is going. So I was lucky enough to be able to Skype a little bit with her before she left and I even got to talk to her date, who is one of my friends too. She looks amazing and she's going to have a great time! And my Christmas package made it home today too. So I got to see Olivia open her gift, which was a turquoise Ice Watch. She loves it! Then she left for her dance and I watched as my parents opened their gifts too. My mom's birthday, as you know if you read regularly, was the 6th of December, so I had a birthday and Christmas gift in there for her. For her birthday, I got her a German scarf with all kinds of browns and maroons and burgundy colors in it, which she loved. And for Christmas, I gave her a bag of little Galler chocolates with all the different flavors. For my dad, I got him a hand made Belgian ceramic house for his Christmas village. I also got them a gold ornament with a little jingle bell inside of it that says Noël on it. I also got gifts for the rest of the family and they should be getting those things tonight as well. After talking to my family, I Skyped with one of my friends for about an hour and now I'm going to get some sleep.

Overall, the day was hectic, but it was an adventure, and it surprisingly did not stress me out at all. I actually had a lot of fun! I like crazy adventures that keep me on my toes here in Belgium. It's stuff like this that makes it fun. Now I just need to find a way to do my shopping... But for now I will focus on sleeping. Bonne nuit!

The Year Is Almost Over

I'm not sure when the last time I blogged was... I'm pretty sure the day that I went to Talia's for dinner. Yes that's right. Ok so I should pick up with yesterday.

So yesterday, Mikayla and I woke up at my house, under the impression that we would have to leave the house around 9 30am because we had heard my host mom say something about that the night before. So we got up, even though we had stayed up talking and watching How I Met Your Mother for hours and didn't get to sleep til 3am. Great quotes from last night: "It's not even a one word do!" "It's like a log of duck with a layer of fat on it. Well maybe ducks are just made that way". Anyways. We woke up, ate breakfast, and got ready for the day. But it turned out that we didn't have to leave until the afternoon. So instead of going back to sleep, we wasted time on the computer and talking. Eventually, right before lunch, we went, both of us, over to Mikayla's house. I was going to spend the night there because there was a little get together in Hannut that night at the café to introduce Talia's sister to all the Belgians. But more about that later.

We got to Mikayla's and threw all our stuff in her room, and then almost immediately went downstairs to eat. Of course. We had some couscous and found that the FAHB had taken the Jello that Mikayla had gotten him, and put it in the fridge. Not the made Jello, just the powder in the box. In the fridge. And when he came walking through the kitchen, we asked him why he had put the Jello in the fridge and he thought it was supposed to go there. We laughed at him, telling him that it's just the powder and it doesn't need to be refrigerated until you make the actual Jello. The FAHB cracks me up. We then talked about how the Belgians are not very creative with their food and just stick within the realm of meat and potatoes and blandness. I have to say, being here really makes me appreciate the food I eat in America. You know, all the Belgians make fun of Americans and say that we don't know how to cook and we make terrible food and all we eat is McDonald's. I detest that stereotype. Because I can 100% testify to the fact that the food that I eat in my house is better and more interesting than the food I eat here. I miss beef stroganoff and chicken paprikash and cottage cheese and noodles and macaroni and cheese and tacos and chicken salad and all the wonderful food that was made in my house daily. Don't get me wrong, I lucked out with families and I eat well here. But the food I ate in the States was much more interesting. I didn't just eat omelets. I ate omelets with tomatoes and zucchini and cheese and onion and all kinds of good stuff. And when I didn't know what to eat, I made something up. Belgians don't make things up. They don't experiment with their food and it's boring. They don't even have banana bread! And I really do think sometimes that when Europe came together to decide what European culture was going to be, Belgium was just kinda like no thanks we're good over here. I mean, you think of gourmet food, you think of Italian meats and pastas and French sauces and breads. In Belgium, we have waffles, fries, chocolate and beer. Oh yes. Very high class. I'm just frustrated with the lack of creativity in certain areas of my life. And it's not like I can just be creative on my own. The fact of the matter is that food isn't just sitting around the kitchen. They buy food for what they will make that night and there are never leftovers. Things like sour cream are hard to come by and food is limited. There is cream cheese, but there is only regular. No strawberry, no herb, no cinnamon. And I suppose that could just force me to be even more creative, but when there are no vegetables in the house and I can't just jump in my car and run up to the Giant Eagle, it gets a little complicated. Ok there is my little rant about Belgian food. Let us continue with the events of the days.

Mikayla and I then took a leap of faith. We cut my hair. Not all of my hair, just my bangs. I decided I wanted my straight across bangs back. So that is what we did next. I watched a few tutorials and looked up instructions. We grabbed a pair of scissors and went at it. They turned out pretty darn good, too. They're a little shorter on the sides than I wanted, but they look good and they will grow out. And after they do, I'm going back to the style I had a couple years ago. Which means cutting off a good four or five inches... But we'll get to that in a month or so. We then watched a few more episode of How I Met Your Mother, ate dinner, which was pasta with ketchup, and we were on our way to Hannut. We had to drop of Mikayla's little host brother at the de Wulf house first, but then we met up with Talia and her family at Mister Patate in Hannut. You know, the place with the giant sandwich and all the fries? Mikayla and I split fries and talked with Talia and her family. Eventually, some kids from school met up with us. Mathieu and Maxime sat with us and they spoke English so that the family would understand. They speak very well. I was impressed. Lately, we've all been speaking French so I forget how well some of the Belgians speak English. After we were done eating, we said our goodbyes to the parents, and they went back to the house that they were staying at. The rest of us went over to the café down the road that we always hang out at. I swear, everyone and their mother was there. Ok not for real, no mothers were there, but you get what I mean. There was really nowhere to sit and it was a cloud of smoke. I think Abbey (Talia's sis) was a little overwhelmed at first. But we started talking with the Belgians and they all took a liking to her and she loosened up fairly quickly. We had a good time talking and standing around. But there weren't many places to sit, and the radiator was not comfortable. Towards the end of the night, things started to get a little weird and Mikayla and I were starting to get aggravated, so we left around 10 30pm. We went back to Mikayla's and made ice cream sundaes with peanut butter, Nutella, sprinkles, and speculoos paste. The speculoos paste wasn't our best idea ever. We stayed up til about 2am watching more How I Met Your Mother, and then crashed for the night.

We had to get up early again this morning because Mikayla was supposed to catch a 10 30 train to go to Maastricht with the other girls from her Rotary club. The plan was to drop me off and home and then go to the station. But things got a little complicated and Mikayla's host mom decided that she would drive, and it wasn't quite understood that I was supposed to get dropped off at home before picking everyone else up. So it worked out that I just went too. We picked up Bella, an "oldie" from Australia, at the train station in Waremme and then Gabby from Guillemans in Liège, and then we were off. Basically, Maastricht is just another town, but it's in the Netherlands. So I can now add one country to my list of European countries that I have visited during my stay here. Fortunately for us, everyone there speaks English. We got stuck in some traffic on the way, but it was fine because with us four girls in the car, there was plenty to talk about. We got there, spent a good chunk of time trying to find a parking space, and then we went off to explore the shops of Maastricht with the understanding that we would meet back up with Mikayla's host mom at 4pm. First off, we found food. I got a sandwich with ham and cheese and pineapple, which was yummy. The bread makes it. Bella had this giant hotdog on a baguette with cheese, and the other two had Nutella crèpes. Then we did some shopping. But I did not buy anything. Be proud world.

In Belgium, there is a yearly sale. Almost to the extent of our Black Friday. Except it last multiple days, and it is really the only sale of the year. It takes place normally a few days after the New Year, and the discounts grow progressively as the days wear on. Well the sale had already began in Maastricht, and the stores and streets were very crowded. The giant two story H&M was pretty nuts. Mikayla waited a good 20 minutes to try on a few pairs of jeans. But it was worth it cause she found a great pair!

Around 4, we met back up with Mikayla's host mom, though she had to move the car because she had been parked outside of a "Sex Shop". Not joking, it said that on the sign and there were pictures of women, topless, on the shop window. The parking was just for the... *ahem* customers... of the shop. So we had to walk another ten minutes to get to the car. Which, normally, wouldn't be an issue, but I was not prepared to go shopping, so I was wearing my heeled boots and a very thin sweater under my coat, and with the cobblestone sidewalks and roads, it was a little rough. Luckily, though, I had earmuffs in my purse. So I didn't freeze to death. Bella and Gabby had decided to stay longer in Maastricht and take a train home, so they grabbed their things, we said goodbyes and then me and Mikayla were headed home with her host mom.

On the way home, we stopped at a GB to grab a recharge for Mikayla's phone and some chocolate for her... needs. Then we went back to her house, and waited for my host mom. We didn't wait long, but I ate a good amount of peanut M&Ms in that time. I really need school to start again. I'm much better about my diet when I'm at school...

So I went home after that and ate dinner and searched frantically for a way to watch that good old "Pippi Longstocking" online. However, no dice. All I could find was the 60s version, and I want the 1997 cartoon. Poo. Oh well, at least I'll sleep tonight. Which is very necessary, considering tomorrow is the New Year. It's pretty nuts to think that the year is almost over and pretty soon we'll be in 2011.

2010 was a hard year. There were a lot of hardships, difficulties, and losses. It taught us all how to grieve, how to cry, and how to be angry. But out of it, also, came how to love and how to support the people around us in times of need. In reality, it was was a great year for me. It is filled with lots of memories. I did some amazing shows in 2010. I graduated from high school. I went to my senior Prom. I had a wonderful boyfriend. I grew closer to my parents. I went to Belgium. I began learning French. Here's to 2011 being even greater! I have a lot to top. We'll see how it goes, but let's make 2011 a year of opportunities received and risks taken. No regrets, and don't take anything for granted. Live in the moment, and cherish what you have right now. Because tomorrow, it could be gone. Appreciate everything, even the struggles. Because the truth is, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. We wouldn't be who were are right now without the things that tested us. We passed the tests of 2010. Now let's throw that in 2011's face. Bring it on. No matter how hard it may seem, we can handle whatever life throws at us this year. Happy New Year everyone. Remember not to party too hard, and let's go into 2011 with a smile, holding hands, ready for a year of challenges and rewards. The prizes get bigger and better every year.

NOËL

Joyeux Noël tout le monde !

It's Christmas. December 25th. The day that Jesus was born.

Well let's start with yesterday. So yesterday was Christmas Eve. Obviously. The day started off pretty much like any other. I was supposed to go to school in the morning to pick up my report card, and I woke up late so I ran around getting ready really quickly so that we could get to school before 10 30am. But the snow was really bad so my host mom said no let's wait a bit and see if they come by to plow the roads. So I sat down to eat and then went upstairs to finish the present for my host parents. My host mom then came upstairs. She had gotten a text from school saying that they were going to postpone the report cards until January 10th. So no worries. I finished up my host family's gift and went down to lunch. It was a nice lunch. We had salad with little fancy meat thingys and big heaping portions of delicious wonderful melted cheese resting on top. It was so delicious. I love cheese so much. Then Benoit came home. He actually had class on Christmas Eve. So he ate lunch too with us and then I went to work wrapping all my gifts for my family and putting together the Christmas package to send home. It took me a while, but I did finish. And then I cleaned my room and got ready to go to my host mom's parents' house for Christmas dinner.

Around 5 30pm, we all got in the car and put on a Christmas cd as we drove to pick up Damien from school. Cue the beginning of Emma's homesickness. Although I sang along to the songs anyway since they were mostly in English. But after the first half hour I just stared out the window and listened to the music and thought about home. We got Damien from school and then eventually made it to my host grandparents' house. We walked in to a warm welcome from them and my host mom's brother and his wife and kids. They have four children, three boys and a girl. The oldest is seven, the next is five, and then there are two three year old twins, one boy and one girl. They are all so adorable too. We said our hellos and Joyeux Noëls and took off our coats and such. And I learned that mistletoe here is a New Years tradition, not a Christmas one. You kiss someone under mistletoe at midnight on New Years. Interesting.

Everything was warm and sweet and pretty. That house is so full of warmth and love, I can't take it. It reminds me so much of my grandparents' house in the States. And my host grandparents remind me of my own grandparents. It's nuts. We all sat down in the living room and talked and such. And then out came the appetizers. All kinds of little things stacked up on mini crackers. The specialty of grandma. There were some with crab, anchovies, salmon, egg, ham, all kinds of things. I tried anchovies for the first time in my life. I didn't like it much. But I also tried caviar for the first time, and that was wonderful. I have expensive taste I guess. I also drank quite a bit of champagne and couldn't turn my head too fast without a little bit of dizziness. But nothing at all to worry about. They just kept filling my glass before I could say no thank you.

Then it was gift exchanging time. I didn't expect to receive anything, but I did get a few things, and it was very sweet and I felt bad that I had left my present for my family at the house, under the impression that we would exchange on Christmas day. From Damien, I received a nice big bottle of Kriek, which is that cherry flavored beer that I do in fact like. My host parents got me a turquoise Ice Watch, which is very Belgian. I think I'm going to swap it out for the green though. I'll explain why in a bit. My host grandparents got me a nice little dainty silver necklace with a rhinestone peace sign pendant. And my host mom's brother's family, who I had just met that day, gave me chocolates. A nice pallet of little sample sizes of all the Galler flavors. And a little box of "chacolat" which is a box with a few chocolates in it and a comic strip starring a cat (cat is "chat" in French). I was touched by my gifts and liked them very much. Everyone got some nice stuff too, including a GPS for my host dad.

By this time everyone was ready for dinner. So we sat down to our first course, which was a sort of log of pureed lobster and vegetables with a white sauce. The sauce also had little pieces of vegetables in it. We had rolls with it also. It was absolutely delicious and the sauce was so creamy. I was already full by the end of the first course. I helped clear the table and get the next round of plates ready. Each person got their own little tiny cornish hen. They were seriously the smallest eating birds I've ever seen. Each person got one, along with some vegetable that is called "chicon" and a couple of these deep fried potato type balls. It was all covered in a wonderful thick gravy. That was truly delicious. Of course, the kids all got something else to eat, and by this time they were all sitting in front of the television watching some Tinkerbell movie. I could not finish all my food. I thought my stomach was going to burst. But we still had dessert! We took some time in between the courses though. I was drinking wine with the meal too! Which is very different for me. I had a glass of white and of red. And I have to say, I did enjoy it. The first time of my life that I enjoyed drinking wine. Anyways, we took some time now to just chill out. I played with the kids a little and talked to my host brothers. But then it was time for my death: dessert. There were two cakes. They were the yule log type cakes. One was ice cream, and the other was an actual cake that was mocha flavored. They insisted that I take a little of each, so I tried them both. I can't believe my stomach didn't burst. But then they brought out the macaroons, and I was obligated to try one of those too. And then the chocolates, but I passed on those. Then we took some family photos. By this time, it was about 11 30pm and it was time to go. We packed up our gifts and drove home, stopping about halfway to change drivers because my host dad was sleepy. We got home, I showered, watched about half of "The Incredibles" and fell asleep with my homesickness.

This morning I woke up with 20 minutes before the Christmas mass. I hurried up and got ready and then me and host parents went to the church behind the house and Benoit met up with us. It was probably the saddest Christmas mass I've ever been to. There was hardly anyone there and the music was very depressive. But it was a Christmas mass nonetheless, and although I didn't understand much, I kept up as much as I could. When it was over, we went back to the house and had a breakfast of bread and Nutella and jelly. Which my host brother thought was especially strange. I then went upstairs to take a nap, but instead ended up writing a bit more of my novel, applying to another university, sending a few emails and writing a letter to Ryan. Then it was lunchtime. We had pheasant, though I had chicken instead (I'm not sure why), grilled mango, cooked cinnamon apples, and roasted potatoes. We were supposed to go today to my host dad's sister's house for Christmas dinner, but because of the snow, we are going tomorrow instead. Then I Skyped with my family for 2 hours and read the story of Christmas with them, watched them open their gifts, and talked with them about things going on in life. I then amused myself with Skype and StumbleUpon, since my host parents went out and my host brothers were each in their rooms doing their own things. Very odd Christmas. I was feeling pretty homesick. But then it was dinner time, which was just fish soup with shrimp and cooked oysters, which I didn't eat. But the conversation was very good and I gave my family the cookbook of American recipes that I had made them for Christmas. We flipped through it together, and it turns out I didn't make that many mistakes in it! I had translated all the recipes from English to French and converted them from US to metric. It took a while, but it was worth it because they really liked it and appreciated it.I spent a good chunk of time downstairs afterwards talking with my host mom and a little with my host dad, and then I Skyped with the whole family, aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents, for about a half hour. And then I showered and now I'm blogging and my eyes are closing. It's time for Emma to go to sleep.

Tomorrow, we continue Christmas. Bonne nuit !

St. Nicholas Day And Mommy's Birthday!

Today is December 6th. In any Catholic culture, this is the day dedicated to St. Nicholas, the man that eventually became known as Santa Claus. And the tradition is, you put your shoes outside your door and St. Nicholas comes and fills them.

We celebrate this tradition at my house in the States. And most Belgians do too. However, I sadly woke up this morning with nothing in my shoes. Which, I have to say, I didn't really expect anything. Benoit is the only other one in the house right now and he wasn't there, plus he's 23 years old. So whatever, that's ok. I ate my 36 euro chocolate and was happy!

Today was also the first day of exams at school. I had history and geography. I opted to not take the geo one, but I did my best on history. Except I was totally like twenty minutes late to school today because the Belgians are freaking out about the roads. I'm not joking when I say there's less then two inches of snow on the ground. Now granted, it was icy today because everything that melted yesterday has frozen over, but it is not necessary to crawl down the streets people! I drive faster in the States when I'm going under the speed limit! But regardless, the point is that I was late to school. Nobody stopped me or anything. I just walked into the classroom late and sat down to take my test. The teacher told me that he didn't have time to make a special test for me, so I just had to do my best. Which I was totally fine with. And I did try my best. There are some things that I definitely think I failed miserably on, but some that I think I actually did quite well on too! The test was one part multiple choice, one part describing documents, a timeline and a synthesis of different charts and graphs. It lasted two hours. I used all my time and I can't believe I finished.

After that, Mikayla and I went into Hannut to the beauty store where we spend all of our time, and I bought myself a whole hair care system because I have determined that I really have to take better care of my hair. I'm going to get it cut soon. Even though I've spent the last three years growing it out. Sorry Ryan :/ On the way back to the center of town, I slipped on the ice and sorta fell. But no worries and no pain! It was actually really funny. Then Mikayla and I took advantage of the fact that we were out of school on a Monday and went to the marché in Hannut which is there every Monday. Basically it's just where street vendors come and set up their stuff, mostly clothes. We looked through everything, but didn't buy. Then Mikayla got some fries and we shared those. We went back to school and spent the lunch hour in Père Boly's office with Talia, just chatting. Then we went through the second half of our day. Some of teachers handed out little candies and such for St. Nicholas day :) That was really cute.

Talia and I have decided to join a gym. We're going to go tomorrow to check it out. Neither of us are happy with the lack of exercise going on and the toll it's taking on our bodies. So tomorrow, we hit the gym by storm! It'll be great :)

Just so everyone knows, I had curry chicken and rice with broccoli for dinner. It smells so good. I love when my host mom makes that. Then I had one of my fancy chocolates and a couple speculoos cookies since my host mom has made them from scratch. Ugh I really need to get back on my diet.

I have deactivated my Facebook. *GASP* Just until after the holidays. I find that I just speak too much English and I spend too much time on Facebook. But the thing about deactivating is that I can go back whenever I want and reactivate it. So I'll be able to be back on Facebook in a few weeks. But for now, I just need to be disconnected from ALL the people back home. I will continue to talk to them people really close to me, and I'm still going to have email and Skype, but no Facebook for a while.

TODAY IS MY MOTHER'S BIRTHDAY!!!! And I am not there to celebrate it with her. But I did send her about 10 ecards over email, all hysterical. Basically I couldn't pick just one. So I sent a bunch. I love my mother so very very much and I want her to know this:

Mom, you really are the best mother I could ask for. I wouldn't be here, doing this without your constant support. Not only that, but if weren't for the way that you raised me, I wouldn't have even had the motivation or the courage to even think about doing something like this. You are responsible for everything that I am, Mother of mine. A hard worker, a loyal friend, a dreamer. And I love you so much, you could never even know. The support and the love that I get from you, I know it's there. You are the best, Mom. I thank God for you every day, and I am so grateful that I was blessed with such a wonderful, giving, caring mother. I love you Mommy. I can't wait to come home and hug you.

:)

Thanksgiving, On Time, In Belgium

Today is the real Thanksgiving in the States. And I'm in Belgium. I'm telling you, it's hard. It's really hard to be away from my family today. The holidays are very important to me. They are the days when I get to see my whole family. When we come together to celebrate having each other and being lucky to spend the time together. And for the first time in my life, I spent it thousands and thousands of miles away from my family. It was truly difficult.

Today was a hard day anyways. I was tired, even though I had slept so much yesterday. I had tests in my classes and little things are really starting to get to me. I'm short tempered lately and I find myself getting really homesick, especially thinking about the boyfriend that I left at home. The French seems to get more difficult instead of easier, as well. Then I dropped my iPod after school and the screen cracked, and that's about when I cracked too. It's just starting to feel like thing after thing is going wrong or being unnecessarily difficult. I binged today and had a chocolate eclair after school, even though I'm on a diet. I had fish for dinner on Thanksgiving. So not right.

But then I went to dance and everything started to get a little better. Dancing really is a stress relief for me. It's a shame I don't get to dance as much here as I did in the States. I have a couple of special performances coming up, one that is actually going to be in Brussels. So that was a good thing for me to think about. And when I got home, my host mom said she had something for me. She gave me a little cake from the local bakery, the raspberry mousse one, one of my favorites. It had a little sign in it that said "Joyeux Thanksgiving Emma!" She said it was for Thanksgiving, so that I could eat with my family while I Skyped with them today. It was probably one of the sweetest gestures I've received here. So that made me smile. And I did eat my cake while I Skyped with my family. It was hard to watch them all be in my house, around my dining room table, eating their turkey dinners, without me actually being there. But it was great to talk to everyone and catch up.

And here is what I am thankful for this Thanksgiving:

-Family

-Friends

-Kaitlyn (best friend)

-Ryan

-This opportunity in Belgium

-All the people that made this possible for me to be here

-My host family

-My education

-The roof over my head

-The food in my stomach

-My bed

-My memories

-The things that I get to participate in

-My clothing

-My overall health

-My good fortune

-The technology that makes it possible for me to communicate with the people back home

-The support of my family

-This beautiful life

Bonne nuit

For All Those Affected By This Tragic Loss...

I have no words left for you.

I wish there was something I could say.

I've scoured my brain for the right words.

Something. Anything. Just to make you realize

How much I love you.

I've sat alone and pondered,

Reflected, with nobody but myself.

Wandering around the vast emptiness of my mind

Searching.

For Something. Anything. To show you

How much I love you.

To be separated by time and space

At this time of tears and grief

Is such a cruel trick of fate.

But my thoughts have been exhausted

Of Something. Anything. So that you understand

How much I love you.

So I am left with one thing.

There is only one word left.

This word that is always there.

Overused and underappreciated.

One word, cliché and old.

That holds the only truth I am sure of.

Love. I Love you.

I know it is not much, but it is all I have.

And I hope you see

How true it is.

And forgive me for my lack of creativity,

But I have nothing left.

Life took it all.

And here I stand, with one word

To make you realize, show you, so that you understand

How much I love you.

L.

O.

V.

E.

Nick, I love you. We are all going to miss you so much. But you are in a better place now, wrapped in the arms of our Lord, and he will keep you safe, for the rest of your eternal life. You were like a brother to me. And though this loss is tragic and we are all grieving, we wait for the day when we can see you again. In the meantime, we enjoy our lives because we know that is what you want. And when that day comes, and we meet again, I am going to give you a hug. Because I will miss you. And then we will all be happy, together, forever.

Dessoffy family and friends. I love you. All of you. So much. And I promise, even though I can't be there for the funeral today, I am sending all of my prayers, thoughts, and love your way. At this moment, the funeral is beginning. And I have never been more serious when I say that I am with you in spirit. And you can come to me at any time. Literally. 3am works for me. I am ALWAYS here for you. You are my family, and you come first. And again, I love you. Big hugs from Belgium.