Friday, July 30, 2010

Flying... :/

I got an email yesterday that told me all about my flight. Which airline I'm taking, where I'll be leaving from, when I'm leaving etc etc. Now I had already known that I'm leaving on August 17th and I was told I'll be flying out of Philadelphia. I had also been told that I had to find my own way to get to Philly. Due to that fact, my parents and I had decided that it would be best to drive there and it was all going to work out perfectly because I was going to get to visit my Ryan (boyfriend :D) on the way there! (He is leaving on the 11th for the University of Pittsburgh) But also my sister had said she wasn't sure if she would want to come with us to see me off because of band camp... really... I'm not kidding...

HOWEVER!!!

Upon getting this email yesterday, I discovered that I am still flying out of Philly, but they have already scheduled me on a flight from Cleveland to Philadelphia! It was all included in cost, and I would leave around 11 30 in the morning... I think... If I recall correctly... So this works out for my sister being able to see me off and for the majority of my best friends to be there too. But what about Ryan?! Well then I later find out that he is coming back!!! He has to be there on the 11th for ROTC stuff, but he doesn't have to be there for class for a while after that, like the 23rd or something. Which I had already known, but he was just going to stay there in between that time. Well now he has decided that he will come back on the 15th!!! :D :D :D :D :D

I apologize for my super girly lovestruck ahhh moment, but it was necessary hehe Afterall, I am a teenage girl. It happens. I'm sure all you ladies out there would be just as ecstatic :)

So basically, I fly out of Cleveland on the 17th around 11 30am, get to Philly around 12 45, and have a 5 hour layover. Ughhhhhh. So then at 6 15 I leave Philly to go nonstop to Brussels and I'm supposed to get there the next morning at like 8 o'clock. Gahhh it all gets more and more real every day. Every time I find out something new about this trip it's like someone is smacking me in the face with a fish (I have no idea why I used that analogy) and I just have a reality check. Woah I'm going to Europe!!!

I have no real qualms about flying. I find it enjoyable. Though the last time I flew anywhere was 6th grade... But I remember liking it! Hehe I just hope I don't end up next to someone with bad motion sickness... I don't handle puke well... At all. Actually I'm quite scared of it. The only thing that I am really concerned about with the flight is doing it alone. Once I get to Philly I know that I'll be with a bunch of other exchange kids that are also on their way to Belgium. But I'm pretty sure I have to handle this first flight from Cleveland by myself and then figure out what I'm doing once I get to Philly. By myself. That is the scary part. And then once I do get to Brussels, what then?? I don't speak enough French to understand what people are going to be saying! And then I find my host family and then what?? How do I speak to them!! I speak some French (I had 4 years high school French) but not enough to have conversations... GAHH

Ok well I think that is enough rambling/complaining/rejoicing/whatever else emotional rollercoaster nonsense for one post... Wow this post has all kinds of emotion in it ha

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

A Poem For You. Just Because I Can

And now Emma will post a poem. She rarely every does this. She writes a lot but never shares because she is insecure about her writing ability.

Ok enough with the third person nonsense :) This is an original poem of mine. Typically I don't post so this is kind of a "big step" for me. I really hope you like it! (Whoever you are...)

Untitled.
I look into your eyes
And I see
Something other than what I seek.
I seek solace, peace, and calm.
Instead I see waves of emotion
Crashing through your mind
Like the violent swells of the sea
During a hot summer storm.
And I wonder
What I have done
To bring this upon you.

Ohh Emm Gee

I leave in 21 days. I can't handle this!!! I have so much to do before I leave and not enough time to do it in. However, slowly but surely, I have been making progress on my list and going to buy the things I need and take care of the things I have to take care of.

One of my random thoughts: I've been thinking about the French language lately since I'll have to speak it all the time very soon. In French, there are two forms of "you". There is an informal and a formal form, which also doubles as singular and plural forms. Of course, in English, there is one. "You". Obviously. But it's actually been bothering me lately. Like, I feel rude when I use the word "you" with someone I do not know well, or an adult, or just someone I should be super duper polite to. For example, today I went to go babysit like I do every week. And I met the grandmother. And I just felt so impolite saying "you" to her. Which sounds really weird, but that's just how I felt. I felt like there should be another, more polite word to use. But due to the failure of the English language, there isn't another word. The English language has a lot of flaws. But I'm not going to get into that now.

That was slightly ramble-ish but I that's how my brain works I guess. I've also been thinking about how often I end sentences with prepositions... Wow I am a nerd... What kind of 18 year old girl thinks about stuff like that? But every time I do it, I think about how wrong it is and how I should fix it. But then I don't feel like going back and changing the entire sentence around to make it okay.

Anyway, I really am rambling now. The point of this post was to say OMGILEAVEIN21DAYS!!!! And I did that hehe :)

Monday, July 26, 2010

A Couple Decisions... Maybe...

So I've been thinking more and more about this whole college deal and decided that it would be a good idea to just bite the bullet and go for a photography major. I am definitely going to apply to NYU, but other schools I'm not sure. I think NYU would be particularly great because even if I don't get to major in a performing art, I will still be in the heart of New York City and I can take classes privately... Perhaps... I have also decided that for some select schools I will contact them and explain the situation and see what I can do. One school in particular that I will be looking into is Mercyhurst for dance. I just don't know if it is going to be worth it... But I guess I have nothing to lose, right? RIGHT?? If there is any other option out there, someone pleeease let me know!!

Tis all for now. I'm sure I'll be posting again soon... By the way there are new pictures up on the Photo Blog! Check out my Photography page for the link!

Friday, July 23, 2010

College...

Today is a contemplative day. Today I decided that it was time I started seriously thinking about how I'm going to go about the dilemma that is college applications. You see, I am technically taking a gap year by doing this exchange. Which is a great option for me because I don't think I could have handled college applications/auditions during my senior year while taking both high school and college courses and trying to get all of this exchange stuff in order. HOWEVER it is now proving to be quite the conundrum. I really really really REALLY want to pursue a major in theater/dance. Of course, these types of performing arts programs require an audition. And of course, attending an audition next year is quite impossible as I will be out of the country! Not to mention most schools won't defer acceptance into audition-based programs. So that is proving to be a real issue. So I am trying to figure out a way to still attend college for the fall of 2011. I really do not want to take a second year off when I get back, although that may be my only choice... Of course I thought of applying to schools with a different or undecided major that does not require an audition, and in that case it would probably be photography, but then I decided that if I'm going to be accepted into a school under a major like that, I should finish out the four years and get a degree. But then I have no training for what I want to do! GAH this problem is really kicking my butt... I guess that's the price I pay when I decide I'm going to do something enlightening and potentially life-altering...

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

And So It Begins... Some Thoughts On Packing... And Leaving...

So once again, I'm posting late, and when I refer to "today", it really means yesterday.

So today, I made my first attempt at packing. It's much more difficult than I thought it would be. Because of course, I have to think about every single article of clothing I have and decide if I will wear it at all over the course of the next year. Not to mention the fact that I am allowed one 50-pound suitcase, a carry on, and a purse. (Although I'm pretty sure I'll just cough up the cash to take a second case) I have also discovered that I own wayyy too many pairs of pants and I cannot possibly take all of them. But then I realized that I don't even want to take many of the pairs because I don't really like them. Which then made me wonder why in the world I have them in the first place...

Anyways... I realized how difficult this is going to be. Not only do I have to decide what to take as far as clothing, but what about sentimental things? All the knick knacks that clutter the shelves and walls of my room? Pictures and figurines and posters and books and assorted dust-gatherers... Obviously I have no intention of packing my entire room, but I don't see how I could leave EVERYTHING behind. It's not as if I'm leaving for 2 weeks and coming back. Being gone a whole year, I think I am entitled to a few sentimental things. But it's hard to decide what to take and what to leave. And then I had an OHMYGOSHI'MGOINGTOBELGIUM moment. I'm beginning to realize what I'm about to do in roughly 26 days... I have a whole list of things that I have to go buy before I go and it keeps getting longer and more expensive... Part of which is underwear. I hate buying underwear. But I realized today that I don't have any decent underwear. So that's something I'm gonna have to go get :P

But pretty much, it's just beginning to sink in and it's freaking me out.

Tis all.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

What Keeps Me Up At Night...

So, technically it is now July 18th, but because I have not yet gone to sleep for the night, I say it's still the 17th. Which means I leave in ONE MONTH. This is insane. It keeps me awake at night! Thinking about how crazy this year is going to be. Like I said before, I am so very very excited to do this exchange, but the when I actually realistically think of what it is going to be like, the thought of it really does terrify me. I'm going to a different country, where they speak 3 languages that aren't English, and I'm going to have to decipher what people are trying to communicate to me with nothing to help me but my measly four years of high school French classes... Not to mention that I will be living in someone else's home, in an unfamiliar neighborhood with nobody around me that I know. And then there's the homesickness. Good golly gee wilikers! I have to say, the hardest thing for me is going to be leaving my boyfriend, Ryan. Of course, it is going to be really difficult to be away from my family for that year, but they are so supportive, and they want this for me as much as I do, and they are such a solid part of life. Those facts make it a little bit easier to be away from them. I know that they will be here when I get back. And my friends? Well of course that is hard too. But again, you can have many friends, make new ones and stay with the old ones. I will miss them, but I have a pretty good feeling that the majority of them will still be here for me when I return. But a romantic relationship is a one-to-one deal. And unpredictable. And involuntary for the most part. So yes, I can honestly say that that will be one of my biggest challenges. But it definitely helps having God on my side, and knowing that all things happen for a reason and this will all turn out the way it is supposed to in the end. But right now, it's hard :/

Other than that, I'm just nervous in general. But I'd say it's completely normal! There is a lot that I have to get done in order to be ready for this trip... Like packing... That's quite the dilemma... How do I pack in a timely fashion? I can't put it off until the night before like I normally would for a trip. That's ridiculous! What if I forgot something?? It's not like I can just live without it for a couple weeks and then come back to it when I get home. So really, I should start packing now. But then I do that and have nothing to wear for the next month? So you see, it's quite the conundrum.

I guess the bottom line is that I really am ready to leave and start this amazing adventure, but, naturally, I have some nerves and worries about it. But overall, I have high hopes and I know it's going to be spectacular!!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Let's Start At The Very Beginning

So here we go. The start of a new blog. The reason for starting this blog is so that I can keep all my friends and family updated while I travel to Belgium for the 2010-2011 school year! I am going through the Rotary Club, they have a freaking sweet youth exchange program.

To give a little background on the whole thing... I am now graduated from high school. When I was a freshman taking French I, our teacher, Madame, had talked about how she did an exchange after her senior year to France. I thought that was just awesome but never thought that it was something realistic for my life. But then, as the years went on and Madame talked about it more, it started to become something that I thought about all the time. Over my sophomore and junior years I spent a lot of time talked one-on-one to Madame about the program and she told me everything. The experience sounded spectacular; one that I would never encounter unless I took hold of this opportunity. So I decided to ask my parents about it. They were instantly taken with the idea and we began the journey to foreign exchange, guided, of course, by Madame. She walked me through the whole process, from the application to the preliminary interviews, to the country assignments and finally hearing from my family. She even wrote my recommendation letter.

Well, needless to say, I was accepted into the program. From there, I had to be assigned a country. How it works is there is a piece of paperwork with all the countries that take part in the exchange, and you have to indicate your top ten choices. I had my heart set on going to France. I wanted nothing more than to live in that country for the year. And then I was told that I was going to Belgium, and I was heart broken. But then I thought about all the extra opportunity that lies there. After all, it is the crossroads of Europe. Eventually, I grew to love the idea and now I can't wait to go! I have heard from my first host family a few times, they have sent me pictures and told me all about the family. The best part is, there is an academy of music and dance in the same city that I will be going to school in!! This is a big deal for me because music, dance, and theater is my life. I was so worried that I wouldn't be able to dance in Belgium. But now I know that I will and I couldn't be happier! I will be living in the French part of the country, so hopefully I will come back to the United States fluent in French.

So now you know a little about the exchange, how about learning a little about me? :) My name is Emma Clark. Like I said, I'm graduated from high school. I am not currently enrolled in a college (that's a whole complicated mess), but I know that I want to major in some sort of performing art, particularly musical theater. I am obsessed with dancing and theater, and I also have a love of photography. Music is also a passion of mine. I play a couple instruments, and listening to music is something I spend wayyy too much time doing. I love all music, except most country and rap I don't care for. I'm a very artsy person and I like to think of myself as a sort of free spirit. I'm a little crazy and a little weird, but I like to think that it makes me interesting :) I'm generally a very happy person and I believe in living in the moment. I have a fabulous boyfriend, Ryan and my friends and family are a very important part of my life. I live with my mom and my dad and my sister, Olivia. I have a few best friends, Kaitlyn, Kaitlyn and Sandy. Yes there are two different Kaitlyns. (I just figured you should know about the important people in my life since they will be mentioned) I am also a pretty religious person. God is my savior and He comes first.

I think that's about everything for now. I leave on AUGUST 17th, and I will keep everyone updated :)